Dreaming Of A Dream

The clock on the wall shows it’s quarter to 5pm. 15 minutes seems like forever. Just as I was about to finish the last sentence of my report, he gives me another file to process.

“What the hell? I was already packing my bag and ready to go home for dinner with family.”

His seems to be mumbling though I can’t make sense of what he is saying as my gaze moved to a picture of a pristine beach stuck on my cubicle wall.

“Boy, can I have a glass of cold Pina Colada? I asked the shirt-less waiter who was holding a tray of drinks near the beach benches.

“Yes madam..” He replied as I put on my sunglasses and continued with the book that I was reading.

The salty sea breeze kissed my skin and the hammock moved along with the wind.

The sound of waves and birds chirping were so soothing that it made my eyelids grew heavier.

“I am freezing ALL your annual leaves as we are short of staffs this month. I understand you applied for leave the next 5 days but we are going to have to freeze those days honey. Sorry..”

“OH NOOOO…… I have already booked my holiday in Redang!!!”

“Madam.. Are you alright? Here’s your Pina Colada.”

“Oh thank you.”

Wow what kind of nasty dream was that? I shrugged it away as I sipped from my drink and continued my book. The wind blew even stronger.. I lost balance and my hammock overturned.

“BUMMP!!” I hit my bum on the floor..

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE FLOOR??” my boss asked.

“Oh I’m sorry.. What were you saying Sir?”

“I said you leaves have been frozen. You will work extra hours from now onwards!!”

“No extra claims. Think of it as for your personal development. Since you are still new, it’s good for the big boss to see you working hard.”

The clock shows 5.05pm. Oh well there goes my dinner plans.

Season of Loneliness

At this moment here are 3 people I missed the most; momsie dearest, salsa boy and my super bubbly ex-housemate. Now that they are not around, life does seemed a little dull, boring and yes, lonely.

There’s this movie coming up, The Ugly Truth. I don’t know with whom to watch it with. Need somebody to cuddle with and share a box of popcorn, while laughing out loud in the movies (the last time I laughed so hard I cried was Kung Fu Panda). My favorite romantic-mushy-movie-kaki has already promised her church friends she’d watch it with them. It’s been awhile since I have been in the company of familiar faces. Somebody I can really connect with and just rant about my day at work and frustrations. At the moment blogging about them will just do. Not many people really listen nowadays. The last time I remembered it does feels good to have somebody to just listen to you. Take in all your crappy jokes and lameness. Sigh where are all my friends? They must be busy I think. Can’t rely on others to make myself happy. It’s only me, myself and I.

You don’t really know how much someone means to you until they are gone. It is when you really missed them and think about them everyday. Life feels different when they leave. Or maybe I’m just too used to them, it’s taking some time to adjust. But why is it taking so long? Ouch. Didn’t really appreciate my housemate until she left. Every night she would be the first person to greet me “Hello, How are you?“ with a bright smile as I enter the door. Always cheerful and happy, we’d share our stories at the doorsteps of our rooms. She’s quite a hyper one I tell you. Each night the other roommate will be far asleep in La-La Land while we were still up in the late night laughing away at our silly jokes and games. Nowadays I come home to emptiness and quietness.

Mom has always been always my comfort and joy. Truly the home is where the heart is. Where mom is, that’s home. What huge sacrifice a mother has to make to be apart from family and loved ones just to earn a better living. A mother that provides only what’s best for her children. Never thinking of herself but always putting others first. Mom, you are my hero!

Losing a companion is just as equally as bad. Somebody who is up for just about anything. Someone just as adventurous and like-minded, whom you feel connected somehow. We can just talk about anything (even about boys!), often having deep discussions over supper. What I’d miss most is about his absolutely funny and random remarks (and sometimes actions). During dance night outs he’d comment about how hot or sexy I looked and notices the clothes and accessories I wear. And I liked that. He’s such a fun guy. When we salsa or dance, nothing else matters, it’s just having the great chemistry on the dance floor and I feel most comfortable to slut-dance with him. He’s also someone whom I can pseudo-flirt and ask out for movies/dancing/dinner/theater/shopping/events/just-about-anything! So far I think he’s the only one who fits the jacket. But of course he had to return back to homeland for good and it was goodbye from him.

So.. life goes on. Like it or not, I have to pick up the pieces and move forward. But at the mean time I’d prefer to be left alone reminiscing the good times. I guess I could also use some hug.

Seducing Mr. Perfect

Hubba hubba

There's this guy. To me he's just perfect. He cooks, bakes, does house chores and loves kids. Best part is, I can totally imagine myself with him because he knows me well and accepts me for who I am. The lame-ness and airhead-ness that is me. There's definitely chemistry as we could talk and engage of different levels of discussion. He'd listen to my funny stories and we'd have a good laugh.

He's my Oracle. Gives me directions on the road as well as in life. Not to mention he's also charming, smart, opinionated, outgoing, spontaneous and funny. Like me, he loves to travel, loves food and loves love.

A gentleman like him is hard to find. Opens the door for me. Prepares me food and there was once he even grinded the pepper onto my meal which drew envy from another table next to us. He treats me like a princess. Held my hands when crossing the street. Made me felt safe. Well not that I'm insecure of anything, but it sure felt nice!

His parents? They simply adore me! His mom even suggested him to marry me. Well I always knew I'm a good daughter-in-law material. Which I actually don't mind. Tall, nice bod, has career, car, cash. You name it! Indeed an eligible bachelor. Ok maybe a wee bit too old for that. Men of his age would have a teenage kid by now. But that's not a problem to me. Men tend to look better as they age, unlike women.

However there just seems to be only ONE problem. Mr.Perfect is not available (well most of the time they aren't anyway). Not in a million years. At least not for me.

Unfortunately, he has a boyfriend.

Now how can I compete with THAT???

S+S Experience

With awesome dancers, Suhaili and Weijun!

Gala night was great although we didn't win anything (except for our fellow dancer, Suhaili which took home the award for best female dancer for Shades Of The Moon, and best choreographer AND best production for her other piece, Nerds Gone Nuts. Yeah the woman is multi-talented. However I guess Weijun was more disappointed due to the feedback we got from some audience that our dance was rather "artsy". Apparently not many people actually understood the piece. Deeming it as too "deep". Well I guess that's the challenge of being too artistic when the audiences are not. Sometimes you need not crack your head too much to solve the mystery, but just enjoy the art as it is. At the very least for its aesthetic value. Well that's what I think. Art (even paintings in art galleries) always leaves room for personal interpretations.

The art of lights, sound and movements perhaps?

Oh well whatever is it for me, I'm very much happy with the outcome. For me it was the whole experience, the whole package. Since I had no dancing background whatsoever (except salsa) and I just wanted a stage to perform. And the fact that I was an outcast (as nobody actually picked my during the auditions) but Weijun took me in. He told me that everybody who auditioned should deserve a chance and for that I'm just so grateful. Being in the gala night itself was such an honour. And for me working with such professionals like Weijun and Suhaili, I couldn't ask for more as I learnt so many things from them, besides getting to meet new people. Truly, I'm very much inspired by all these talented dancers. They have the talents, the commitment and most importantly the passion to dance!

My debut performance in "Shades Of The Moon". And that my friend, is the block.

Most of the time backstage, I would feel so small and insignificant compared to others in the Short+Sweet Dance. I understand that some of the dancers were trained ballerinas from the age of 5! Others could do headstands, splits, flips, twirls and stunts almost effortlessly which I could only dream of doing. Therefore, I'm only good at what I do, which is the choreography on the block. Oh but it was just so inspiring to see them dance nevertheless! It felt just like in the movies (being backstage) but lesser dramas of course. Dancers getting ready warming up before the show as my nerve creeps up!

Adrenaline pumping 10 minutes before show. From the backstage monitoring screen we could see the audiences as they enter the hall and fill up the seats. The stage manager cues us and the show begins! Nothing else that went through my mind as I stepped up the block and do my 'thang. In mind, all I could think of was "I just needed to get it right, every step, don't screw up!" And add in some soul to each choreographed step (which am still figuring out how!).

Auww.. Backstage with The Moonies.

I'm also thankful I didn't have any wardrobe malfunction the whole time we were on stage as it was just a thinly-strapped white baby doll dress clinging over my shoulders. Thankfully nothing snapped, otherwise it would ended up as a peek-a-boo show! And the white dress I got from Times Square, oh it was just perfect and cheap!

Dressing room 2 : Moons + Nerds + Mamis!

What also made the whole experience most memorable was sharing the same dressing room with a crazy bunch of people, Nerds Gone Nut and Mami Jarum. They are just hilarious! We would laugh our heads off watching Little Rascals together in the dressing room backstage while getting ready for the show. Plus having Fuzzy together in the same competition and same dressing room is just the cherry on top! I think we were destined to get into it together, we auditioned together, we got in together and share the same dressing room together! Although for different dance pieces. But it was fun to have him around and he's such a sweetheart for doing my hair every night before the show! Apparently he had always had a dormant passion for hairstyling since childhood! Just missing was a make up artist!

My hairstylist, Fadzli. Thanks dude for doing my hair!

All in all, it was a wonderful experience for me as I will surely not forget my debut dance performance (not to mention artistic dance!). Besides, I don't know when will I have a chance to do it again. I must say the timing was just perfect. If it was any bigger production I wouldn't have the time to commit due to my work schedules. Indeed it the experience was Short+Sweet!

Shades Of The Moon

We got into Gala Night! :)

Something Beautiful

Over garlic cheese naan at Uma Rani last night we were discussing about the full dressed rehersals of Short+Sweet we watched earlier in KLPAC. Talking about which dance pieces we prefer the most and dancing experiences.

Wei Jun has been dancing all his life. When I asked him how many years has he been dancing he replied, "I don't know.. It's like asking me since when did I learn to eat, or speak, or walk!"

So I asked him, "Well do you know WHY I joined Short+Sweet?"

He just shook his head.

"I just wanted to see what I can do.. I've always wanted to perform on stage. It was something that I wanted to do for so long that I have somewhat forgotten about it. There was an audition so I jumped straight into it!"

"Besides.. I want to be a part of something beautiful."

Well some deep discussions over roti naan going on there!

Personally I'm doing this for myself. To build my confidence on stage and just to have fun. For somebody with so little dance background (previously I danced only salsa okay!), I realized that for a simple choreography, there were so many thing that took place behind the scenes.

Ever since day 1 of my rehersals with Wei Jun, my steps have evolved to something different each time. But thankfully he was ever so patient and accomodating. Never asked me to do something that I can't pull off well. Truly an honour to work with such a professional.

Anyway can't wait to see the full dance being put together soon. It's definitely going to be short+sweeeeeet!!! That's a guarantee.

So come one, come all to watch me perform this 29th July to 1st August at KLPAC!

Look ma I'm on TV!

25th May 2009 marks history in my life...

Finally my first TV appearance on RTM!! It's a 4 minutes slot featuring me as the host's sidekick.

All in all the experience was great! First time standing in front of a camera live and giving a presentation. Initially, I thought my nerves would tear me apart. As I've known, no matter how GOOD you are, if you can't control your nerves, you're totally screwed! Of course, there was an auto-queue where you can read your text (you can't be memorizing ALL of it right??). I guess I was focusing way too much on reading my queue right, I completely forgotten about my nervousness! In fact, it turned out to be a FUN experience. I actually kinda enjoyed it. Adrenaline rush? You betcha!

I was reminded of what some people had told me before: "If you are too nervous to read news on RADIO, what makes you think you'd be better on TV??" -- well let's hope and pray this opens up more doors so I can prove them otherwise!

Life is a climb, but the view is great!

P/S: My slot is somewhat during the 3rd or 4th minute into the show, and somewhere in the middle and the end. Best way to view the video is to wait for it to upload completely. Buffering might take some time. Therefore a good internet connection is needed.

Enjoy! :)

Di Luar Lingkungan Bersama Sayed Munawar (25 Mei 2009)Video:

Tajuk : Pendidikan Politik : Matangkah Pemikiran Politik Malaysia Tetamu : 1) YB YUSMADI YUSOFF Ahli Parlimen Balik Pulau 2) PROF. MADYA DR. AHMAD NIZAMUDDIN SULAIMAN Pensyarah Kanan Sains Politik & Strategik, UKM 3) AMER SAIFUDE GHAZ

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http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid10791406001?bclid=11619770001&bctid=25616613001