The pursuit of happiness... Figuring out LIFE and embracing it as it comes.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Lemons



"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade."

So the saying goes. But why settle for making lemonade when there are so many more possibilities?

When life hands you lemons...

* Cut them in half and squeeze the stinging, citrus pulp into the eyes of those who would dare to mock, threaten or oppose you.

* Just as life hands them to you, quickly toss them back. Yell, "You touched 'em last!" Then run away.

* Make lemon meringue pie.

* Sell 'em lemons to Breeze, they can make lemon smelling detergent.

* Juggle.

* Bleach your face with homemade lemon mask.

* Make lemonade. Add vodka. Drink. Declare that "life ishn't scho bad after all."

* Throw them back and say, "I want apples! Gimme apples!"

* Lemon fight!

* Simply refuse to sign for them. Life's lemons can't be delivered without an authorized signature.

* Pretend to "accidentally" drop one of them. When life bends over to pick it up, give life a major wedgie. Run away (without the lemons, of course.)

* Share them. Sharing is caring.

* Accept them graciously, so as not to cause life to suspect you of anything. Then stick one in life's exhaust pipe while it's in the grocery store picking up more lemons.

But hey, what if life hands you TOMATOES??? Make Bloody Marys. Cheers!

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