"C'mon you can do this.. I know you can do this.. just R-E-L-A-X"
I picked up the pace as I inhaled and exhaled slowly trying to psyche myself. My breathings were heavy and I was starting to break into cold sweats in my blue tattered borrowed wetsuit. The sight of the sea calmed me and scared me at the same time.
"Hmm.. there is no breeze" my mind wandered off a little bit.
"Whatever you do just stay calm.. it'll be fine.." those words kept echoing in my head.
I accidentally dropped my fins; with those darn heavy air tanks I had to bend over slowly like an 75 years old grandma with severe back osteophorosis trying to pick them up.
"Hey wait up guys!!" I called out to Michelle and Audrey who were ahead of me; also walking like hagged old grandmothers.
"Ouch these rocks are painful!!" I shrieked as my barefoot stepped into the rocky waters. The tides were low you can literally do a feet reflexology by just walking on the marbled pebbles.
Giggles filled the warm sea air as we held on to each other trying to put on our fins. My fins were easier to put on as they were bigger and strapped in easily. Audrey had to struggle to control her balance while putting her fins on as the waves kept pushing us back to shore.
"Ok we have to swim to where the flags are and dive there" Andrea pointed at the orange buoy with red and white flags about 100 metres seaward.
"Alright let's do this! We have been trained to do this" said Michelle behind her fish eyed mask.
Well you think I would flip but I didn't because I have already flipped the day before when Andrea told us to swim from the shore to the boat and back in the middle of the ocean about 100 metres with only our snorkels and fins.
"WHAT?? Are you serious??" I panicked as I never imagined myself ever doing such a thing since the last time I couldn't feel the floor of the swimming pool I nearly drowned.
********
It was back then during my last year in campus where I wanted to do something fun and challenging before I graduate. So I signed up to compete in the inter-college swimming competition. Not much of a regular at the university's public pool nor trained for any such competition, I got listed under 25m breast stroke, freestyle and backstroke.
Then came the day of the competition, all contestant had to get into the middle pool and race to the shallow end.
"Brrrrrrr..." the water was cold and I couldn't feel my feet touching the swimming pool floor.
"Oh shit" I struggled to get to the middle lane where I was stationed to begin. I was already panicking as I couldn't feel the damn floor. The whistle were blown, the race has begin. All the partictpant swam forward to the finish line.
"Gasp!!" I took a deep breather and kicked as hard forward. But I wasn't moving. I began to sink. I kicked and I kicked but water kept gushing down my nostrils and my throat. In all attempts failed I raised my hands in the air and signal: I wanted out. Noticing my drowning gestures a random guy nearly wanted to jump into the water to save me but held back. However I did hear him telling his friends; " I think she can swim wan lah.." So finally nobody came to my rescue instead they all cheered me to the end the race. Determined, I swam slowly to the finish line. Even then all my hands and legs coordinations were wrong, even my breathing. I frantically struggled to keep my head in the air but still kept drinking chlorined-water.
Once reached the finish line, everybody roared with cheer for me. For the first time I felt the spirit of sportmanship as well as sheer embarassment. Later an announcements was made at the loud speaker: "partictpants for the next rounds please FINISH your race and what ever you do, do not stop swimming.." Oh how embarassing!! I quickly dried off and cancelled my other two swimming contests.
*******************
The sea breeze slapped me back to reality and the old washed-down wooden boat in the middle of the ocean caught my attention once again.
Turning towards Andrea again in desperation; "Wait, are you really serious?? I thought we already did the swim test yesterday?? Hoping that she was just kiddng but looking at a straight-faced Andrea I knew she was dead serious.
"No that was just floating in the pool for 10 minutes, you can do this.. plus I need to make sure you guys could at least swim to the boat and back to shore without any problems.. No worries I will keep an eye on you"
"OH-MY-GAWD"
Took us forever even to manouver ourselves on the peebled-rock beach to the ocean. And a whole load of fear.
One step two step.
"Just put your head and snorkel in the water and just paddle your fins." Michelle assured.
We donned our masked and snorkel and took a deep breath into the waters. The first thing I saw underwater was sea urchins. Never seen one before. Black and prickly. Long black prickles. Scared and curious at the same time. They had shiny dots that looks like eyes and red circles resemble mouth-like shape.
"Oh look at how cute they are especially their faces they look like cartoons. Oh my god there are tonnes of the down there!! Stay calm. Just keep swimming.. just keep swimming..."
The sea water makes you really buoyant so there was no need for a life jacket. With just a pair of fins, a mask and a snorkel; we swam our ways towards the boat. It was funny as although we were heading to one point but the fact was we were all over the place! Audrey swam super fast (betcha she could beat any Olympics' records!) and did not look up while I tailed behind. And Michelle tried to group us together.
Of course I was chicken scared. Well the thought of swiming into the unknown can be really scary. But after awhile the corals and fishes under does take our mind off the fact that you are in the middle of ocean with just flippers and a snorkel. Next thing you know we were swimming back to shore. Audrey was first (can you believe that??), Michelle second while I was last (really enjoying the swim slash snorkel) to arrive to shore. This too could be similar to a personality question once asked by a potential employer i.e. why do people climb mountains? My answer was; to enjoy the view (hah!). Yeah right enjoy the view. Susah-susah saja kan climb mountain? But after asking a few other people who gave a more thoughtful answers like; "to have a sence of achievement" I came to a conclusion that I'm a person who very much enjoys the process rather than achieving the goal (what's wrong with me??).
"I still can't believe we finally made it alive outta that!! Woohoo!!" There was a sense of achieving something. My fear of drowning, the deep ocean, and ultimately.. the unknown. Funny thing we never expected that to learn diving would be so streanous and stressfull. Initially Audrey even thought that she had actually signed up for a relaxing holiday. But talk about battling for our survival everytime we go into the waters! Ok it might sound exaggerating but that was exactly how it felt at that time.
Finally the time has come. To practise our skills in the sea. After the warm up we had the day before; swimming to and from the boat, this time we swam again to the orange buoy in the sea. Andrea had explained she wants us to do the mask skills i.e. filling up our masks with water and blast it out about 9 meters at the bottom of the ocean. As for me I really REALLY dreaded the mask skills. Never liked water getting in my mask. Stings my eyes plus goes up to my nose. Never liked it at all. So I had this paranoia water will get into my mask, I will breathe the water right up to my nose, choke and drown under water.
"Everybody ready??" Andrea signalled thumbs down for descend. Breathing like Darth Vader through the regulator, I took a deep breathe and slowly sink down to the ocean floor while deflating my BCD.
The way down was a slow and gradual descent. Had to equalize our ear pressure all the way till we reach the bottom of the ocean. Took us awhile to stabilize ourselves at the bottom. We were on our knees waiting for Audrey to park herself next to us in time for the underwater skill test. The ever dreadful mask skill.
As I was waiting for everyone I kept fidgitting with my mask. Pulling and tighthening the straps for the fear that water might seep in and fill up my mask. And suddenly I heard a snap. Oh my Lord, to my worst nightmare, the mask strap actually snapped! I could only held on to my strap and mask. Bottomline is I sabotaged myself. Frantically I tried to call the instructor who had her back facing me so obviously she couldn't see what was going on. Stretched out my hands to her but she was out of reach. I couldn't speak nor make a sound. I was already picturing the worse that was about to happen (i.e. dead/drown) then I remember to stay calm and signal for trouble. I quickly signalled Michelle next to me that my mask is NO GOOD. Took her awile to figure out what happened and she signalled Andrea towards me and I showed her my mask that gave way but still held it tightly towards my face. Lord, I could never imagined what would happen if the mask totally came off my face. Within seconds we ascended to surface and had my mask strap fixed. To my surprise it got fixed and I wasn't too delighted as I knew I had to go down and do it mask skills
anyhow. Dang!
anyhow. Dang!
Again we had to descent to the sea floor. Sea cucumbers bounced off the ground as we touched down. One-by-one each had to do the mask skills and it was my turn. Took in deep breaths trying to calm myself down. Seeing my instructor signaling it's time, I closed my eyes, took out the mask and quickly pinch my nose before the water could get in (a tip Andrea taught me). The whole time I pinched my nose and breathed through the regulator. Then I held my breath, let go my nose and hurriedly put the mask back on. Blasted the water off
my mask and task done. I was still alive. My eyes did sting but I was just so glad to have completed the skills test, even after all the drama. We swam a little and resurfaced. And that was my first experience diving.
my mask and task done. I was still alive. My eyes did sting but I was just so glad to have completed the skills test, even after all the drama. We swam a little and resurfaced. And that was my first experience diving.
Hell it was scary but the chance to be even enjoy the view underwater is just breathtaking. It was like being in an alien planet with magnificent creatures. Everything felt so SURREAL underwater. My aunt and I always argue about diving. My arguement has always been; "the world is made of 70% water.. imagine what you have not discovered". Cliche. I know. Other than that I think the rich-compressed-air really makes you feel good. Not nitrogen narcossis. The deep controlled breathing underwater and nice slow swims with awesome view of colourful fishes is just pure bliss.
They say there are 2 types of divers; one who takes their license and never dive again and the other; hooked to diving! I think I'm the latter. However I still have fears and paranoia. And the fact that I still swim like a seahorse. But the only way to overcome your fear is to actually do it! After my license in March, I went to Tenggol in April (they have the best isolated beaches great for honeymoon!) and Tioman again in May. I have seen turtles and the best part a 1.5m white reef shark in Tioman! So far counting: 11 dives and definitely many many more to go.
After my worse nightmare I'm still happily diving! Well as long as I don't have to do mask skills!
Moral of the story: buy a good mask.
Next thing to do: get an underwater camera!
