The pursuit of happiness... Figuring out LIFE and embracing it as it comes.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Season of Loneliness


At this moment here are 3 people I missed the most; momsie dearest, salsa boy and my super bubbly ex-housemate. Now that they are not around, life does seemed a little dull, boring and yes, lonely.

There’s this movie coming up, The Ugly Truth. I don’t know with whom to watch it with. Need somebody to cuddle with and share a box of popcorn, while laughing out loud in the movies (the last time I laughed so hard I cried was Kung Fu Panda). My favorite romantic-mushy-movie-kaki has already promised her church friends she’d watch it with them. It’s been awhile since I have been in the company of familiar faces. Somebody I can really connect with and just rant about my day at work and frustrations. At the moment blogging about them will just do. Not many people really listen nowadays. The last time I remembered it does feels good to have somebody to just listen to you. Take in all your crappy jokes and lameness. Sigh where are all my friends? They must be busy I think. Can’t rely on others to make myself happy. It’s only me, myself and I.

You don’t really know how much someone means to you until they are gone. It is when you really missed them and think about them everyday. Life feels different when they leave. Or maybe I’m just too used to them, it’s taking some time to adjust. But why is it taking so long? Ouch. Didn’t really appreciate my housemate until she left. Every night she would be the first person to greet me “Hello, How are you?“ with a bright smile as I enter the door. Always cheerful and happy, we’d share our stories at the doorsteps of our rooms. She’s quite a hyper one I tell you. Each night the other roommate will be far asleep in La-La Land while we were still up in the late night laughing away at our silly jokes and games. Nowadays I come home to emptiness and quietness.

Mom has always been always my comfort and joy. Truly the home is where the heart is. Where mom is, that’s home. What huge sacrifice a mother has to make to be apart from family and loved ones just to earn a better living. A mother that provides only what’s best for her children. Never thinking of herself but always putting others first. Mom, you are my hero!

Losing a companion is just as equally as bad. Somebody who is up for just about anything. Someone just as adventurous and like-minded, whom you feel connected somehow. We can just talk about anything (even about boys!), often having deep discussions over supper. What I’d miss most is about his absolutely funny and random remarks (and sometimes actions). During dance night outs he’d comment about how hot or sexy I looked and notices the clothes and accessories I wear. And I liked that. He’s such a fun guy. When we salsa or dance, nothing else matters, it’s just having the great chemistry on the dance floor and I feel most comfortable to slut-dance with him. He’s also someone whom I can pseudo-flirt and ask out for movies/dancing/dinner/theater/shopping/events/just-about-anything! So far I think he’s the only one who fits the jacket. But of course he had to return back to homeland for good and it was goodbye from him.

So.. life goes on. Like it or not, I have to pick up the pieces and move forward. But at the mean time I’d prefer to be left alone reminiscing the good times. I guess I could also use some hug.

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